ETA's World

" rekhaaaaaaaaa....come....come...come....push..."

My eyes almost pop out of their sockets as I am thrown off guard by the imperious commands hurled at me in that oh-so-casual tone...So much so, that it actually takes me a whole moment to digest the unceremonious demands!!

There are very few in this world who would venture to requisition my services with such high decibel arrogance. Those that do are, either very brave or plain stupid. But unfortunately for me, neither word exists in ETA's world.

ETA, the youngest born of my karmic sibling Pradeep, has a simple philosophy for life - " BE HAPPY"....A lot like Mumble, the super cute pengiun chick in Happy Feet. But for ETA to be happy, ETA must get what ETA wants. And in this moment in time, all ETA wanted was to play on the swings.

Since we were at a social engagement which kept her parents busy with their many responsibilities, the crafty ETA had no qualms whatsoever about recruiting any hapless passerby into service.

" rekhaaaaaaaaa........push...push....come....come...."

Cornered, I had no choice but to lumber over and help her on the swings.

" Fast...Fast....Fast...."

" No ETA...not Fast...You will fall off"

" No Fall....am holding tightly...see.....Fast...Fast...Fast"

" No, no....what if your hands slip and you fall off?"

A look of surprise crosses her face for a fleeting moment as she wonders how the chains which she has clasped in a vice grip in her teeny tiny hands could possibly slip out of her stranglehold. But ETA being ETA, was not the one to waste time or brain power on trifles. She must have concluded that I obviously was a moron who had to be suffered because apart from flashing a quick " what a dumb ass" look at me, ETA did not deign to reply.

" Fast...Fast....Fast...."

Now, she was beginning to remind me of a cheer leader at one of the famous Kerala boat races!!! But her enthusiasm is infectious and I am carried away by her rhythmic chants. Hastily muttering a prayer to the powers that be, I gently accelerate the tempo of ETA's swinging.

But is the cherub happy? Oh no, she is not!!!

" Fast...Faaast....Faaaaaaast...."

I am now almost convinced that the murky depths of ETA's gene pool contain a rogue chromosome or two that traces its roots to the backwaters of Kerala!!! A true blue mallu myself, I am all too aware of the tenacity and resourcefulnes of anyone remotely connected with my homeland and I decide that it would be well in my best interests to fall in line with ETA's wishes.

*sigh* I must be aging faster than I thought I was!!!

Soon ETA is air-cruising at a speed that meets with her approval.
" ETA, aren't you afraid?"
Once again, that "dumb ass" look...Seriously, is there nothing I can do right??
Thankfully, the feel of the wind tousling her hair softens ETA a wee bit and she begins to murmur her happiness to the world
" ETA happy.....Not SCARED!!!....ETA happy"

Okieeee, point noted...No Fear in ETA's World!!!

But this put-down does not register fully as I have finally tasted the success I was hoping for, after having failed to impress ETA with my 'Concerned Aunt' act earlier on.

'Safer to quit while you are ahead' suggest the voices in my head and like a fool, I try talking ETA into retiring indoors for lunch. However, ETA treats my query with such acidic scorn that I hasten to continue pushing her and this time, without much sound byte. But the peace was not to last.

Obviously ETA's happiness was impeding mine and besides being hungry, I could swear that my biceps were beginning to bulge!!!

" ETA, shall we go find mama?"

*cold silence*

But, spurred on by a rumbling stomach, the Alpha Moggie was not to be deterred......Come on folks, I am not the alpha for nothing, am I? I decide to engage her in conversation and steer her indoors, in a moment of distraction.

" ETA, do you know who DSK is?"

" my friend"

" your friend? why?"

" he gimme teddy bear......"

" ETA HAPPY!!!"

" do you speak to your friend?"

"yes"

"when?"

She directs a long suffering expression at me. Boy, I am so glad she is just 3 and cannot divorce me or sue her parents for making me a part of the family!!! But thankfully, ETA decides to take the higher road

" Saturday"

My jaw drops a few inches, as I stare at her in utter disbelief...... willing her to admit to her blatant untruth. But, ETA is oblivious to my glares, and continues to enjoy her ride..

" ETA, do you know who I am?"

" yes"

" who am I?"

" rekkkkhhhhaaaaaaaa" *accompanied by a diabolic MUHAHAHAHA kind of laugh*

Now, I am the one distracted from my mission.........

" rekha......just rekha?? no auntie?"

"NO"

I am rather nonplussed by this little niece of mine, who remains as cool as a cucumber as she announces her intention of calling me by name and not with the much desired Auntie epithet attached to it!!!

" ETA, how can you call me rekha?"

" rekhaaaaa....rekhaaaaaaaaaa....rekhaaaaaaaaaa"

The little imp grins wickedly at my discomfiture. As I mull over this new development, ETA waves what she considers an olive branch at me

" Satheesh auntie????"
*rolling my eyes in sheer exasperation*

For once, the Alpha is out-matched!!!