Sunday, April 5, 2009

On Letting Go


A wise man once said, if you love somebody, set them free.

If, the recipient of your affections is truly yours, he, or she, will come back to you.
One way or the other.
Sooner or the later.

And, if not, then, the object of your affection was never yours, to start out with.

Scary, as that is.
Painful, as that can be.
I still believe, freedom, forms the foundation of true love.


Because, it then is about two people being connected, because they want to be.
Not, because, they have to be.

I talk not only about lovers.

Or, spouses.
But also, about friends, siblings, parents, pets, and, even objects for that matter.

The rule applies to anyone, and anything, we have a deep, honest and sustained emotional connection with.

 
Relationships are not about ownerships.

And, yet, it is the ones we love the most, that, we seek to possess completely.
That, we yearn to belong to.
Body, mind & soul.

I have heard people say that, we, humans, are wired to seek love.

That, true and unconditional love is a desirable emotion to achieve.

Perhaps, it is true.

But, then, is not freedom implicit in the very concept of unconditional love?

So, why are we, almost always, compelled to own our loves?

At times, I, cannot help but wonder, if it is completeness we seek, in the guise of love.
A ratification of our identity, through the most important roles we assume in life, with the most important people in our lives.
An affirmation of our measure of self worth.


What if we love too much, and, are not loved back the way we want to be?
Or, worse, what if we love deeply..allow ourselves to depend..and, eventually, the person we love is no longer there for us?

Like it or not.
Man is a being, driven by needs & wants.
By, feelings and emotions.
And, by dreams and expectations.

Letting go, is never easy.

I have, in the past, sought to insulate myself from the pain of loss by trying to let go.
By, retreating into fortresses, and, feigning indifference.
By, refusing to get fully involved.
But, withdrawal and indifference can, sometimes, make for an unfulfilled existence.
And, the dam of pent up emotions, eventually breaks.

After, painful spells of tears and tantrums.
Of, clinging and pleading.
My way today, is to try, accept a loved one for what he or she is.


To savour the love, warmth and happiness, that fills my being when all is well.
To jealously guard the memories, and, bring them out for an airing when I hit a bumpy road.

My way today, is to listen to the whispers of my soul.


Very often, it tells me to rise above the pain and sorrow.
To strengthen my spirit by looking within, reflecting and accepting.
To channel, and expend, the negative energy in nurturing my passions.
But, above all, to, keep the faith.
And, look forward to tomorrow.

It's never easy.
But, then, the voice of the soul is seldom wrong.

After all, what ever will be, shall be.
Que Sera, Sera.


Or, could it be that the compulsion to own arises from a fear, of not receiving, as much as we put out.

9 comments:

Abhilash said...

Brilliantly written :-)

Rekz said...

Thank you Abhilash..
:)

writerzblock said...

Rekz,
That was beautiful and profound. Its true indeed, don't we all seek completeness in the love of another! Kudos on a lovely post.
-Pal

trueblue said...

Very evocative.. truly !

-Aswathy

Vinita said...

beautiful!! Rings true down to the last word..

Ganga Dhanesh said...

Well said, Rekz...

Rekz said...

Thank you Girls.

Arch said...

i hope you read kahlil gibran...'The Prophet' on love and marriage... if you havent already, pl do...

Rekz said...

Arch, I just did!!!
:) :)