Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ms. Stalkarazzi

"She is cyber stalking me now.......That *@*#*^@ ^ " .
I yelled at hubby dearest, in fury mingled with triumph...

The she in question, referred to a silly little mosquito who had been inadvertently removed from her murky marshes and now, buzzed aimlessly across the oceans in the Promised Land. It was the perfect example of a non-entity marrying above her station and reacting to the change in her fortunes with an assumed air of superiority. One would have assumed that the stench of her marshes would have kept her sufficiently grounded in reality. But sadly, this little mosquito was lacking in common sense as much as she did in breeding. With the rapaciousness of a true blue vector, she sought to milk her new station for what it was worth, channeling her new spouse's savings into the coffers of her parental home. An understandable reaction from a woman who had grown up with deprivation, envying and coveting the advantages others around her had.
But the greed was the least of any one's worries.


It appeared that her financial and moral insufficiencies weighed down her ego, because in midst of her willful ways and extravagant shopping sprees, she also decided to declare war on her extended family. If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee said the scriptures. And follow it to the letter was what Ms. Mosquito did. Her new family and friends offended her. And the ensuing battles she engaged herself in to pluck them out was the stuff melodramatic sitcoms on Indian television were made of.
Like most sensible people, I would have consigned her to hell and gotten on with my life.....If it had not been for the fact that, for reasons best known to her, Ms. Mosquito had reserved the bulk of her venomous abuse for me. Why? I hadn’t the faintest clue. True I did not like her. But I had at first swallowed down my dislike, and responded to her appeals for help…And then judiciously kept out of her path while she was battling it out with the rest of the world. All to no avail…This mosquito was in no hurry to get off my my tail.
Desperate for any little tidbit of information about me which she could distort and use in her vitriolic attacks, she took to cyber stalking me with a host of abusive fake profiles on social networking sites and my blogs.
But pride does go before a fall and so was the case with Ms. Mosquito. While I could not track down her fake profiles on the networking sites, the location tracker on this blog did record her visits. And it was in that precise moment of discovery that I turned to my spouse in triumph and annoyance.
“ Look at that…Cleveland, Ohio…I told you that she was cyber stalking me!!! Earlier it was Woodbridge, New Jersey!!!....”
Hmm…yes indeed. Maybe she is trying to learn the art of blogging from you...” joked my husband but his flippancy only stoked the fire.
“You must be joking!!!. She can’t even string a decent sentence in English..Besides, she is so incredibly selfish that she can’t think about anything beyond herself. "
“….You know she is a complicated person with a massive inferiority complex….Especially where you are concerned….She hates it that you score over her in every respect...Her inadequacies makes her want to put you down...”
“ Well, if she has an inferiority complex, she should just stay away…Why stalk me with filthy profiles? And write vicious lies about my family? What does she even know about them? If your family had not vouched for her pedigree, I would have assumed that she was born in a fisherman’s hovel..She sure behaves like one. Arrrrgh…..If only I could give her a tight slap across her ugly pock-marked face!!!”
A hit below the belt, my conscience gently reminded me.... but I was beyond caring.
Dsk on the other hand, seemed rather amused
“ Come now, don’t complain…You should be most flattered…I mean how many of us normal people can stake claim to our very own personal stalker cum publicist ??? ....Only celebrities can boast of being stalked & written about in this manner....”
I gaped at Dsk in shock, with my fists still clenched in anger. As usual, he had turned the tables on me, effectively ending one of my tirades even before I had warmed to the topic. And, he was not done as yet.
"But you really should ask her to provide links to your blogs on all those fake abusive profiles she is churning out...Hell, what good is she as a cyber paparazzi if she can't offer her readers the proof of the pudding???"
Talk about saving the best for the last..... *# ^@*@!!!

4 comments:

Shail said...

Hells bells! Your own personal stalker??!! Wowee girl! You sure are in a special bracket!

Miaow!!! said...

:O :O *gasp*
Et tu Brutus?...
:( :( :(

Roopa said...

Was that what the life-sucks feeling was all about? I would side DSK on this one. A stalker does put one in a sort of a pedestal, you should be proud of yourself, my girl :)

Miaow!!! said...

No, Life sucks was not directly about this...but it did play a small indirect role..
:) :)
Yeah, I really shud enjoy the pedestal...If only I was not reminded of the rabble beneath!!!
:O