Saturday, November 1, 2008

In Search Of The Perfect Brows

When it comes to looks, a lot of people have really simple stuff to deal with. Bad hair days. Zits, big and small. Or at worst, a bad hair cut which needs to be camouflaged by hats, scarves or bunched into scrunchies until it grows out in a week or two. I have all of these and as a bonus, problematic eye brows which are the bane of every parlour maid's existence. Oh yes people, I exaggerate not one wee bit. I have unique misfortune of being blessed with sparse, barely visible brows, the strands of which insist on pursuing their own growth paths. And the consequence? Two raggedy moth eaten brows!!!

As a kid, I was so taken by the sight of my father's morning shaves that one fine morning, I decided I just had to try my hand at it. All I had to do was identify a suitable implement and the appropriate test ground. After an hour of serious contemplation, I decided there was only one place to work the tiny needlework scissors through...And sniped a rather interesting maze through my eyebrows.
Sadly, it was not just my family which was traumatised by my bold action....The appalled hair follicles revolted, refusing to rise to the occasion any more. In vain did I plead with the Gods to restore a semblance of a brow on my face. But all my coaxing and cajoling fell on deaf did the bottles of Castor oil I poured over myself. It seemed that I was stuck with the horrendous moth brows for life!!!

Abandoned by divine forces and the follicles, I turned to the modern day goddess makers, the friendly neighbourhood beautician. Although the prospect of shaping the ragged moth brows was a daunting task for the vast majority, I was, for the most part, fortunate enough to find a fairy god mother like my Zami.
Zami is the chirpy magician who zaps away my wrinkles, chides me for not sleeping enough and prescribes creams for the resultant dark circles but above all, she is the sculptor of my brows. With Zami round the corner, all is always right in my world. So it came as a rude shock when I nonchalantly sauntered into the salon late this morning only to be told that the eye brow fairy was coming in late.
" How late is late?" I desperately asked the proprietress.
" Oh, 11:30 about an hour....hopefully" The note of doubt in her voice brought me to the verge of hyperventilation. "I can have another girl thread your eye brows" She offered helpfully.
" But you don't understand. I have problematic eyebrows!!!. It would take a miracle to negotiate the cracks and crevices in them"
" Don't worry Madam. Kanaha here is as good, if not better than Zami"
Better than Zami? Impossible.
With narrowed eyes I studied the quivering Kanaha. A bad move, which I realised in retrospect...Long after I agreed to test the mettle of this paragon of threading excellence.
" Ok Kanaha, let's see what you make of my brows. There are lots of gaps and spaces in my brows, so you will need to wipe out the filler and then see how you can make it look full and seamless. And yes, both my eye brows are shaped different, so you will need to decide on a common shape and thread that"
Blank stare. So, I went over the drill once more. Once again a blank stare meets my eye.
And then,instead of rushing for the cotton wool,Kanaha pushed my head down and with a flick of her wrist, whipped out the little reel of thread. Perhaps it was my yelp of surprise, but all at once the menacing fingers stopped and above me, I could blearily make out a raised eyebrow.
" You are not wiping out the brows?..."
" Oh, you used a pencil...I thought it was permanent...OK, OK I take out"
This was far from reassuring...The paragon could barely make out the difference between a permanently inked brow and the painted shrubbery on my forehead !!!
I tried explaining once again " Kanaha, if you look at the brows you will see that both are different...And there are gaps in must thread so that there is a common shape, OK?"
Kanaha peered at my brows, bobbed her head in agreement and set to work. I was congratulating myself on my communication skills when I heard a loud gasp above me. And then, I was unceremoniously yanked back into sitting position.
" Madam, eyebrows are very important. I have taken out extras on your right eyebrow, but for final shape I think you wait for Zami..." I was beginning to visibly hyperventilate....Just a gentle push and I would have tipped over the edge into the dark lands beyond." No Madam don't worry...nothing wrong..I only say Zami know your eyebrows better..So she finish"
And with that, my threader vanished leaving me in the middle of a crowded floor looking like a semi plucked chicken. As I desperately feigned interest in a glossy magazine, I imagined every pair of eyes in the room were trained on my brows....... Time crawled at a snail's pace. And after what seemed like eons, another nervous lissome girl appeared.
" Madam, Zami is not reachable. We don't know if she is coming would you come back tomorrow?"
" Like hell I will!!!...I have one eyebrow semi done and the other one not at all. Surely I cannot look more ridiculous than this!!!.....I am not walking out of here unless I get both done...and they better match"
" er, shall I try?"
" I don't care who tries...I want two matching brows!!!...." I declared mutinously, gripping the arms of my chair to signal my intention of not budging from my seat before the brows were done. And so the lissome girl of unknown name and pedigree set to salvage what was left of my forehead.
To her credit, she would have managed to accomplish her mission if it had not been for a yawning gap in my right brow. The mystery of the gasp was finally unraveled !!!
I raved. And I ranted. Might as well as get myself a bald python to complete the caricature I declared to anyone who would listen.....But there was very little one could do than pick out a suitable brow pencil and brush....
Sometimes, a girl's best friend is her make-up box!!!


Ganga Dhanesh said...

lols...a semi plucked chicken...loved the usage!

shail said...

Well, now we simply HAVE to meet. I must see those eyebrows for myself!! :P

Roopa said...

I loved this post. I have a horrible problem with my hair, so I empathize with you wholeheartedly :).

Miaow!!! said...

Ganga, as I sat on my chair with my nose buried into a magazine,I could feel 2 dozen eyes boring through the back of my head...Now I know what the chickens in their little wire cages at the butcher's must feel like :( :(

Miaow!!! said...

Shail, I will most certainly make sure that the moth brows are shaped to perfection and filled in before I set out to meet you...:P

Roopa, compared to my eyebrows,my hair is a lot less trouble....but that is mostly due to the efforts of my hairdresser Tilly....someday, I will write a post on my experiences with T