Feline Sapiens

“Babes, what the *#@^ is a Feline Sapien? “

One of my buds, obviously well fortified by her morning shot of caffeine, commands my urgent attention on Ychat through a series of rapid fire messages that blink furiously at me in the corner of my screen.

“ummm….Just something I pulled out of thin air…you know how my morning went yesterday, so may I now please refocus on the maid before she decides to shatter my expensive crystal” * scowl*

“Pulled out of thin air??? What on earth do you mean??? ”
“Just something I came up with to describe our family a.k.a DSK, Gingy & Me……I converted the Felis in Felis Catus to Feline and combined it with the Sapiens from Homo Sapiens to derive Felis Sapiens” * big toothy grin*

* gasp* “ well, wipe that smug grin off your mug...I googled and guess what? Feline Sapiens are and I quote “fictional, sentient, humanoid species from the Red Dwarf television series”

* toothy grin goes down a notch* “Oh…err…What is the Red Dwarf ?..”
“ google it babes!!!...Pronto”
With a sigh of exasperation, I reluctantly turn my eyes from my maid on to Feline Sapiens on google, which proves to be rather disappointing. I googled Red Dwarf instead, only to discover that it was a yesteryear science fiction television show with a rather interesting character called Cat who belonged to a species called Felis [ not Feline mind you] Sapiens or the Cat people.I must say the description of cat people on the Red Dwarf site was amusing and not too bad for a science fiction tale.

“ Err hons, the Red Dwarf refers to Felis Sapiens….not FelineSapiens…in any case, does it matter? ”

“ You mean you don’t mind the possibility of being referred to as sentient and a humanoid?” * round eyes*

“ well not really…It kind of describes the way three of us are…I kind of like it, though I will pass on the Sci-Fi froth”

* deep sigh* “U r totally nuts and beyond redemption but I love you anyway”

And then she was gone.
“ Just how do I explain us Felis Sapiens to a regular human being”, I ask a quizzical Ging, who exhales fumes from her smelly breakfast right up my nostrils, making it crystal clear that her pressing concern of the moment was whether to nap right then or after a game of catch.

I thought Feline Sapiens was an apt description of the three of us who are so in and out of each other’s lives and minds that we no longer seem like man or animal to each other. There are times when Ging seems more human than a lot of people we know. And then, there are those moments when DSK or me or sometimes both of us, seem more like cats than people.

I probably would have continued in this vein for some more time if Ging, having made up her mind, had not directed one of her “ Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, Mommie” looks at me before firmly closing her eyelids. Well, I guess I should thank my stars that at least one of us had our priorities straight this morning!!!

Treasures & Trophies

This morning, the calm in the Moggie household was shattered by our domestic help who, in a moment of sheer negligence, brought down a glass stand and destroyed most of the trinkets on it.

The din jolted both, Gingerbread and me, who were, until then, sleepily ambling around in circles.
Ging wasn't too concerned about the broken trinkets. But, the sight of my precious treasures, reduced to a pile of shards, was a little too much for me to handle so early in the morning.
In my defense, it was even before I had my first caffeine fix of the day.

As I vented at the maid, in my broken, pidgin Tamil, Ging sat by patiently, waiting for her crazy mommie to get a grip on herself.

But, much to her surprise, the tirade took a more violent turn, when, in midst of my scolding I suddenly caught sight of my favourite green & gold hair clip, glinting at me from the dark tresses of our maid's head. I had been searching for this particular clip, for quite sometime, & had reluctantly resigned myself, to the bitter truth of having lost it.

Recovering from the shock of the opportune reappearance of the clip, I continued to berate the maid with renewed energy, when Ging decided to take matters into her paws.

In my fury, I didn't notice her strolling out nonchalantly and was still sniffing indignantly, when she reappeared several minutes later, bearing what seemed like a mouse in her mouth.

All thoughts of the broken trinkets fled, in the wake of awful memories of Ging's last present to us..A decapitated squirrel.

As I braced myself for another bloody and gruesome offering, Ging opened her mouth, to drop a teeny weeny, and much to my shock, a whole, quivering squirrel, at my feet, with one of her famous ' Now, Quit Cribbing Woman' looks.

Crushed by the sight of the immobile little form at my feet, I directed my dirtiest glare at a rather nonplussed Gingy, who seemed to expect me to break into an ecstatic jig of joy.

However, when the force of my glare didn't abate, enlightenment hit our little kitty and sensing disaster, the convoluted whorls of her mind, began to desperately devise ways, and means, of salvaging the situation.

Finally, deciding on the lightening strike approach, she made a quick frantic grab at the squirrel, all set to scamper with her prize. She would have, in all probability, succeeded if the little squirrel, hitherto paralysed by fear, had not, also, decided to muster all his nerve and make a bid to save his life.

What ensued was utter chaos with the squirrel trying to clamber up my leg, Ging diving for my feet, me hopping around, oblivious to a bewildered caller on the phone, and the maid brandishing her broom at me, ostensibly to sweep away the squirrel, but, managing to land a few well aimed whacks at me.

The melee ultimately came to an end when I managed to haul the squirrel to the garden and set it free under kitty's ever watchful eyes.

After this, I was dying for a shot of something much stronger than caffeine, to recover from the morning's trauma, but, had to settle for several mugs of ultra strong coffee, brewed in the presence of a ultra sulky kitty !!!.

As the caffeine coursed through my system, I glanced over at kitty's creased brow as she furiously did some serious rethinking on her apportionment policy. But of course, it remains to be seen whether her new resolutions will withstand another one of mommie's meltdowns...

Aaah, the pleasures of being the Alpha in the house!!!